Today I turned 42. That’s 21 x 2. That’s most of the way to half of a century. That’s midlife. Some might say it’s “old”. Some might say it’s “young”. Some might say the number of years doesn’t matter.

As I thought about my life, my 42 years, my experiences and who I am today, I realized something. Although I have vastly more experience and knowledge than I had at the age of 21 I don’t think I have any more answers. In fact, I think I have more questions.

Maybe it’s because at the age of 21 I thought I knew more than I really did. Or maybe I was more of a fool then. Or maybe I’m more of a fool now. Maybe life isn’t really about answers at all.

Marie
I have a great life. Marie is my best friend. We laugh together. We cry together. We cringe together. We question things together. We do almost everything together and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even though we have only been married for a few years we have known each other since 1991. We were quick friends and enjoyed many years as friends who always greeted each other like we had talked the day before even though sometimes months or even years had past. She accepts me for who I am, challenges me to excel in my endeavors and loves me unconditionally! I love you, Marie!

Abby and Jon
Abby is 18 and Jon is 16 (17 in May). Really?!? I checked. It’s true. More evidence of my age. In the last few years my parenting has evolved. I humbly admit that I had become a parent interested in results. Grades, sports, music, drama, church, talent were some of the ways by which I measured my success as a parent. Do any of those things truly matter? If not, then what does? I have learned a lot of things from my kids. The most important being that the only thing that really matters and I mean really really matters more than anything else, more than life itself, more than all the talents, achievements or riches is…wait for it…LOVE! Were you expecting something else? Something more profound? Something more intellectual? Something more unique? Love? Love has been written about, preached about, taught about, sung about, questioned, answered, defined, challenged, given, rejected and accepted for the history of humankind!

So what, who cares, big deal, whatever. I’m sure many of you reading are saying to yourself, “Tell me something I don’t already know” or “Tell me something I give a damn about”.

The Point (at least one of them)
Ok, here goes. I think true love is the absence of judgment. If you say you love a person but criticize their race, creed, sexual orientation, religion, level of education, nationality, intelligence, accomplishments, or anything else for that matter are you truly, fully, unconditionally loving them? It’s the acceptance of the whole person. When you truly show love to another human being it’s about accepting them as, well, them. Not the part of them that you like, or agree with, or that fits with your worldview, your religion or your preferences.

Just to clarify, I am not innocent. In fact I lived much of my life following along without much critical thought. Even now as I have reconsidered some of my beliefs I find myself judging those who may think like I used to think. It’s a choice to love and not judge and I choose love. Make love not war! (I just had to fit “make love” in someplace in this post. But, I digress.)

So as I look back on the first 42 years of my life I feel blessed, loved, accepted and hopeful. I want the next 42 years (God willing) to be filled with more love, less judgment and a deeper level of understanding of those that I meet on the road of life. Peace, love and prosperity friends!

Post Script
By the way. I usually have Marie do my editing but I wanted to post this right away so I skipped my usual process. Please forgive any punctuation, spelling or grammatical errors.